Sunday, June 28, 2009

I Find Myself

debating with myself more and more often lately. The most recent question was, "Are women who truly enjoy sex, whores?". As a female and one who really really enjoys sex, I snap my head and shout, "No!". Because I am in no way a whore. Well, I guess that would depend on who you ask.

I have had my share but not over-abundance of partners. I have experimented with all sorts of different "kinks". I have zero problem with initiating sex or being pissed off if I am denied. I love to role play and talk dirty. I do have boundaries though. I know enough about fairly mainstream fetishes (is that an oxymoron?) to know that I am in no means a freak. I no my boundaries but I love to push the envelope on them, you know?

Early this evening, my husband (Big Papa) and I were getting it on. I, of course, initiated it. I was teasing him as he began to unbutton my shirt and pushed his hand away and asked him what kind of girl he thought I was. Now mind you, my hands were below the belt, if you catch my drift. This went on for a little while and I asked again, "don't you think I am a good girl?". He laughed and then hesitated. "Sure". Then I asked if he thought I was a a whore and he replied, "ummm, well, no, not really". WTF!!! I sort of let is pass so we could just continue with the deed and not ruin the moment, but later as I clean myself up from some really over the top amazing sex, I started to question myself. Maybe I am a whore. I mean I really love sex. I have great sex. Why wouldn't I love it? But why do I have great sex? Because I love it and won't settle for sub-standard performances.

And then it hit me as I looked at myself in the mirror while I washed my hands. It isn't necessarily great sex that I have, but great orgasms. I know how to get myself really turned on, let myself come to the brink a few times and then when I can't possible resist anymore I enjoy a full-body, earth-shattering orgasm. But did I really even need Big Papa for it? What did he do to contribute to its greatness other than provide the equipment? In fact, I attempted many times (as usual) to talk dirty to him and in an attempt to get him to reciprocate, ask him lots of questions. His answers are always one word. Blah, what a turn off. I want him to get really into it and start just speaking with out thinking because he is just past the point of thinking and can only feel now. Sigh, but he just isn't into pushing the great limits that you can with sex. He is probably pretty much OK with average. As long as he gets off then all was good. Doesn't he realize he could get off even harder and more intense. And even more have such a tantric sexual experience that the entire thing feels like one amazing orgasm.

We've been married for over seven years.


  1. I know exactly what you mean. I'm the horny one and I'm the dirty talker, but my boundaries are far wider and more expansive than my wife's. So when I try to initiate that stuff she ends up making me feel like some perverted freak, when all I really want to do is get her all hot and bothered.

    But because she controls when and how often we do it, I go along to get along. Sometimes our paths cross at the right time and it's amazing, but most of the time we're just on different planes.

    And we've only been married 3.5 years.

  2. Daddy - but you are the man of the relationship. It is to be expected. What happens when its the woman?

    3.5 years, huh? You better work on it too. Not that sex is everything in a marriage, but I do believe it is VERY important.

    Don't you just LOVE those times when the paths cross just right?